Saturday, August 22, 2009

How Did I Get There???


We've told Spicy Girl the story of her adoption since she was 10 months old. We've shown her pictures, pulled out the keepsakes from her adoption box and told her how we prepared to bring her home. She has always known that she was adopted; but we have also been careful to explain and answer questions at an age appropriate level. She has seen many pregnant women, and we've explained that a baby was growing inside that mommy's tummy, but that she did not grow in my tummy. We have always explained that she was born in China, and that we traveled to China on an airplane to get her and bring her home.
Last night she asked us how God got all the babies in China into the orphanage when other babies grew in tummies. Ok, here we go. I explained for the first time that she also grew in a woman's tummy in China, and that all the babies in the orphanage grew in a woman's tummy. Her eyes got wide, but not sad, and she said, "She didn't want me?"
I then explained (what Daddy Spice and I had planned on explaining) about the population situation in China (at an age appropriate level) and that this woman didn't have a choice.
S.G. got a big smile on her face and immediately asked to hear all the stories about how we went to China to get her, what we packed, how she got sick on the airplane, who was at the airport when we got home and how Aunt Mimi got her Pedialite that first night home to help her tummy feel better. We got out of bed...at 10pm, and pulled out pictures and keepsakes from the trip, cuddled her, told her how long we waited for her, and then we tucked her into our bed for the night.
I've been waiting for this question. I know that the realization of her birth mother has not soaked in, but she seems just fine this morning. At least now she understands that she too grew in a woman's belly just like everyone else, and that God prepared us to be her Mommy and Daddy, and her to be our baby.

6 comments:

Shari U said...

That's tough stuff, isn't it? We have ongoing dialog with Abby on this, too, although she's known since she was about 2 that she has a
Chinese mommy" and a "forever mommy". She hasn't asked yet why her Chinese mommy didn't keep her, but she did ask this summer just before we went to Italy what would happen if her Chinese mommy and daddy were on our airplane! I asked her how she would know it was them and she said "because they would be speaking Chinese"! So, I told her I guess we'd go and talk to them, right? She said that would be okay, but she wants to stay with us. Thank God for that!!

~LL~ said...

Aw....I have tears....that is just SO sweet. I know you were a little nervous about how this would all come up, but it sounds as if it all went beautifully! Good job, MommySpice!

Unknown said...

Thanks for your honest info and feelings...One day we will tell Lynnmarie about how she came to be. I want to be full prepared for that moment!

PandaMom said...

Feeling this with you. ; )

Ski Patrol said...

Some days it feels as if the world stops and then...it starts up again...good job! She is happy in first grade I hope!!

lora said...

Dreading this day! I hope I do as good of a job as you when the time comes...
Thanks for sharing your story with me. It gives me ideas and things to think about!